Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag

Photo by Transit Gurrl

Photo by Transit Gurrl

Hi Readers. My apologies for the delay in my post but I’ve been on vacation. I’d like to tell you I went to an exotic location far, far away, with swarthy men fanning me with palm fronds whilst feeding me peeled grapes, but sadly that’s not the case.

Being the good daughter that I am, I drove my 76 year-old mom and her 7 lb dog (AKA The Little Monster) to Osoyoos. It was a bit like Driving Miss Daisy, The Next Generation.

We stayed at a lovely little family-run resort with a private beach that we had all to ourselves – hooray for the start of the school year! It was beautiful and relaxing, which was the exact kind of break this gurrl needed from her daily commute. You’ll note the picture the picture was taken from my lounge chair in front of our cabin; ah, heaven!

As much as I enjoyed our little get-away, I must admit that I was looking forward to getting home by the end of it all. I didn’t get much sleep while away and I was exhausted from the drive so sleeping in my own bed was sounding like the most amazing thing in the world to me.

The drive home took much longer than expected as we got stuck with an uber chatter vendor when buying the requisite haul of fruit (much like most visitors to the Okanagan), and a pine tree that my mother had to have (unlike most visitors to the Okanagan). I could barely keep my eyes open by the time I got to my door and I was silently cursing the facts that I would have to make a few more trips to the car to unload everything.

I stumbled through the door and was greeted by the usual beep-beep-beep of my alarm and when I went to punch in the code I drew a blank. My theory is that not only did I leave my worries behind while on vacation, I also left behind the ability to do long-division and my alarm code. I swear, it was as if my brain flat-lined, and then the panic set it. I tried my credit card pin, my mom’s alarm code, not to mention several random numbers, no bueno – F*CK!!!

For a brief moment there was silence and I couldn’t help but heave a sigh of relief, although I was troubled by the red light on the alarm panel. That’s when it started. I must admit that on a number of occasions I’ve considered setting off the alarm just to hear how it sounds and find out how loud it is, but each time I imagined doing this, I thought I’d punch in the code right away to turn it off. Allow me to assure you, it’s loud, effing loud, DEAFENINGLY LOUD. Yes, I ran around my suite looking for the number for the alarm company like my ass was on fire!

SEVERAL minutes later I was finally able to remember the code, the sirens stopped, I knocked on my neighbours doors apologizing for the cacophony that was my alarm, and abated the authorities attending the scene. Needless to say any signs of fatigue were obliterated after that, but at least I’m home and as we all know, there’s no place like home.

***Coming next week: Hooking Ain’t Easy, Part Deux.

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